RSS Feed

If Dogs Could Talk…

If Dogs Could Talk



Try to understand this:  You see, my FUR keeps me warm. Your sweaters only serve to insult me.

If the choice is between prison and playing dress up with you, I choose prison.

Though I have provided all the evidence in the world, perhaps I should take this time to state a certain fact explicitly:  I am a DOG.  I am NOT a CHILD.

Please remind me why I’m supposed to love you.

I give you everything I have to give and you still wish I were a Dalmatian.

I wish your husband had taken me with him when he left.

If I had hands I’d strangle you.

I suppose it could have been worse.  You could’ve put me in a hair net so I’d look exactly like you do in the mornings.  Oh… wait… you did.

What is wrong with you.  Seriously.  Did you not get enough love as a child?  Is your world so completely devoid of meaning that you think dressing me as a flower is a form of care taking?  I hope the house gets burgled tonight.   And when it does, you know what?   I’m not even going to bark, because FLOWERS can’t bark!

Oy vey. If only Moses would have left in that 11th Commandment:  "Thou shall not desecrate one’s pet."

I wonder how many of these I have to slip into her water to end the torment.

Very cute.  You come up with that yourself?

Look, I’m barely a dog.  I have enough identity issues without you dressing me up as a cheetah.   And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not Tarzan.

You are doing your best to ruin what self-esteem I have left.

And I thought the bunny suit was bad… What am I now?  A Dogglebee?  A Dogfly?  Please stop. Please.  I beg you.

5 responses »

  1. Hi Wendy:
    I had no idea that you were blogging again…I would have been here sooner.  In fact, I noticed that I\’m not even on your friend\’s list anymore :o(…..I\’m so glad to see you back.  When I signed into my space I saw that they had you listed with your latest blog here, so I came by to say WELCOME BACK!!  It\’s really good to see you….I\’ve missed you and I\’ve missed these adorable pictures that you put on your space….I love them!!
    I\’m s sorry to read in your last blog that your mother passed away.  I\’m sorry that my condolences are so late.  What a treasure you found in her jewelry box.  I think it\’s so sweet that your mother saved that all these years and how very appropriate that it was read at her service.  Time helps to ease the pain, but the wonderful memories remain forever.
    Hugs and Love,

  2. Wendy!  I\’ve missed you too!  🙂  I\’m glad you\’re online as well.  I\’ve been back online and starting up slowly but surely.  Haven\’t visited many spaces yet.  I\’m really sorry to hear about your mother passing away.  That\’s very sad.  I hope you are doing ok.  I second what Diane just wrote.  It\’s true that time helps to ease the pain, but you\’ll always have those memories.  I always remember my dad.  I was taking a look around on the net just now, and I learned that ol\’ Pete passed away this summer. 
    Will talk again soon …   🙂

  3. I\’m sorry to hear that your mother passed away…
    Everything will be better…

    Hi Wendy 🙂
    Did you come up with each of the captions, or did you find them when you found the pics? HaHaHa. The one I may like the best is the "I wish your husband had taken me with him when he left" one. lol.

  5. Yes.these pics r very interesting~  🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: