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What Mom Taught Us

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Me at age 5. Yes there are missing teeth and big ears.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If youre going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you dont straighten up, Im going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, thats why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case youre in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and Ill give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"Youll sit there til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a cyclone swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If Ive told you once, Ive told you a million times – dont exaggerate!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who dont have wonderful parents like you do!"


13 responses »

  1. I can\’t think of a "lesson" in this (other than YOU\’D BETTER MIND ME!) but mom always used to say…"Girl, your @ss in grass and I\’m the lawnmower".   LOL

  2. Wow – your mom taught you a LOT!  My mom only focused on IRONY and FORESIGHT. 

  3. LOL…I\’ve seen these before….they\’re priceless.  My favourite one to use when my kids were growing up was "Because I said so, that\’s why".
    I love the monkey and kitten video….the monkey sure seems happy but, I\’m not too sure about the kitten….lol.

  4. LOVE this Wendy!!  You\’re SUCH a cutie pie!!!  :)~

  5. I think our moms went to the same school!

  6. Hugssssssssssssssssss Wendy Rose,
    I loved the list.  I\’m so glad that someone else talks in there sleep…  I heard you too! 
    I\’m having problems with MSN or AOL not sure which.  But getting to spaces is hard, even mine.  grrrrrrrrrrrr  I think it is funny, you was married for 19 years I was divorced for 19.  Had bf for long periods of time to.  Now married 6 years in Nov.  What was I thinking?  lol I do love him.  But i was so used to being the boss………lol  Now he wants to be.  can you believe that?  lol I want to get this house ready to sell too.  It is to small and I want to be in the country.  Have a great week.
    Love ya,

  7. Did we have the same mother?  Are we really sisters?
    For crying out loud, we even have the same ears!!!  I\’ll have to scan my first grade picture.  You\’ll see!  I didn\’t think anybody else had those ears except for me and my poor youngest son.  We have learned to embrace our ears. . . . especially since there\’s nothing we can do about it . . . well except for surgery (my sister opted for that – mine don\’t bother me that much – if I was going to have surgery, there\’s a lot of things I\’d pick before my freakin\’ ears).  **oops – off on a tangent – sorry**
    Precious picture!

  8. I finally was able to get back into my blog.  I checked and found out that the weather module is not available up here in Canada.  Not sure how that all works, but that\’s the case. 
    btw, very nice picture 🙂

  9. Nice picture.   I\’ve heard a bunch of those sayings before, thanks for bringing up bad memories.  LOL

  10. Hi there!  There must be a mommy club that meets to come up with those sayings.  LOL  I remember hearing at least 90% of those and now I say them too.
    The community room is going as well as expected.  The biggest argument is over the TV.  I just sit back and take it all in.  It\’s going to be a long summer 🙂

  11. I have lost track of how many times I\’ve taught mine that "I brought them into this world….." ~wink~.
    These were great!  I haven\’t updated my blog since I got home from my camping trip, but thought I\’d pop in on a few of my favourite spaces 🙂
    Hope you had a great weekend ~hugs~

  12. My mother taught me to get out of the way when she started whistling "Star Spangled Banner."  I knew this meant she was upset about something.  LOL

  13. Wendy:
    I knew there must be a reason I liked you so quickly. We must be related! Your mother sounds exactly like mine. You were a cute little girl maybe a little intent looking, but cute none the less. thanks for the smile.


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