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Talking about ‘Rock, paper, scissors’ to decide for Fla. lawyers

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Federal judge orders ‘rock-paper-scissors’ to settle dispute

Tampa, Florida  (AP) — A federal judge in Tampa seems to think a game of ‘rock- paper- scissors’ will settle a dispute.

In an order, U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell scolded lawyers for their inability to agree on a location where they can take the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance lawsuit.

Presnell ordered both sides to meet at a neutral location at 4 p.m. June 30th to play a round of the hand-gesture game often used to settle childhood disputes. If they can’t agree on the neutral location, they’ll play on the steps of the federal courthouse.

The winner gets to choose the location for the witness statement.

If the loser disputes the game’s outcome, that lawyer can appeal to the judge at a hearing on July seventh.

Rock-paper-scissors has become serious competitive business in recent years, with regional tournaments determining the players in a world championship.

 

(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
 

 Anyone want to play?

 

The Witness

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!"

 

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7 responses »

  1. Hi Rosebay.. one .. two .. three … I got rock… what you got?
    That was fun!
     I work with lawyers so I always like the lawyer jokes.
    How are you doing?
    Well… take care woman… have a great day!
     

    Reply
  2. Rock!  Rock!  Rock!

    Reply
  3. Hecks bells, based on that moron judge even I could be a judge. Scary thought!

    Reply
  4. Thanks, Baby.
    Your words are soothing!
    And this video is hilarious!!!!!!!
     
    xo
    ~Nooner~

    Reply
  5. Came over by way of godess.  Love it!!!!!!!  I haven\’t laughed like that in 2 days..See ya……..

    Reply
  6. popped over from Rosemary\’s place .. just in time for a good laugh! 
    I\’ll be back to check out your site a bit more.
    hugs,
    Molly

    Reply
  7. as i\’ve always believed, law school is just a big waste of money and time.

    Reply

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