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Stop the Conspiracy!!!!!!!!

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THIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP IN OUR COUNTRY

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection………Well, REALLY NOW-even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You’re risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am printing in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer’s fonts to be smaller than they once were.

 

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10 responses »

  1. YAB - YA Blog at the Independence Public Library

    Love Your Blog… I will be back!
    Here is one for ya:
     

    Believe it or not you can read it.
    I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn\’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.
     

    Reply
  2. haha!  make sure you don\’t forget about this little conspiracy….

    Reply
  3. Hillarious video!!!!!  Thanks for stopping by.. Have a great weekend!

    Reply
  4. W:  strange post for today.  It almost sounds like you are getting older.  😀

    Reply
  5. As usual… loving the video. I laughed so hard I almost slid out of my chair.

    Reply
  6. You just described me perfectly!!

    Reply
  7. I\’m almost on the floor after the waterslides from hell video. Gotta love the last one – down she goes! What\’s with your post today? You can\’t be getting older.

    Reply
  8. OMG……you wrote a blog about Little Ole Me???……LOL.
    Love the video…..I was on the floor laughing……Lmao.
    Have a great weekend……..Diane.

    Reply
  9. MERHABA FROM TURKEY

    Reply
  10. LOL oh my this made me laugh.  I paid the chiropractor a visit today and asked him if my recent sore feet could just be another sign of age, or the weight!  Btw thanks for the larger font as I\’ve recently taken to using reading glasses!  How dare they change the font on all of our computers this way, tis a cruel cruel joke methinks ~wink~

    Reply

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