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Only a Southerner knows…

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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is – as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble, is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece". They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, "y’all" is singular…."all y’all" is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin’," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don’t want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart "and go your own way.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads "I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Bless your hearts, y’all have a blessed day, ya hear.


9 responses »

  1. SO FREAKIN funny!!  I should do one for all the Mainers out there!!  That would be a HOOT!! 
    LOVE that video clip…I actually had to run to the bathroom lest I have an "accident"!!!  🙂

  2. I\’ve always loved the term "conniption".  I just envision the funniest freak out ever!
    Thanks for your well-wishes.  I was given a couple of phone numbers to places that <might> be able to help with the Tamoxifen.  I don\’t have my hopes up though cuz they told me that once a drug goes generic they take away all the assitance programs.  Weeeeee – lucky me!!!
    Dude, waves would be one thing – I could deal with those – well, and have all my life.  But the CURLS!!  They are out of control!!  Then when I blowdry it ends up frizzy – that\’s where the curly iron comes in!!  Like I said, it\’s a pain but I\’ll deal with it compared to the alternative, ya know?
    You mean the patches on the breast cancer quilt?  I\’m glad someone is checking that site out.  It seemed to be forgotten after the two patches were dedicated.
    I gotta get to work!  Have a wonderful Floridian Day!

  3. I\’m definitely not from the south 🙂  Have a great day!  ~Tanya

  4. This is great. I spent a lot of time down south in the 80s and this is so true y\’all. One thing I could never get over is how fast you pick up the drawl y\’all.
    Haven\’t been around lately. Busy Busy Busy The clip above is absolutely hilarious. I expected the kitten to have the claw in so much it would be lifted off the ground.
    How y\’all doin?

  5. I\’m upper south, but I recognize all of these…"right far piece" is one my dad uses…and I catch myself saying y\’all all the time…

  6. Since you live in the south, you must have known about all of those.
    Great video, where did you ever find that one?

  7. Happy Friday!
    You\’ve been tagged.  Tell us 6 strange things about yourself then tag 6 more people.  If you want to that is, no pressure.  Stop by to see how strange I am 🙂

  8. Yours is the bestest!! blog site. I always check it out and enjoy it every time. Thanks. Such creativity.

  9. What a great blog!  I haven\’t been on in a while, so what a treat! 🙂


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